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  • Writer's pictureKaren Divya Shekar

The Relationship You Have with Yourself

In one of the most distressing moments of my life, a complete stranger once remarked that I had low self-esteem. Needless to say, the remark struck me hard. Low self-esteem? I always thought I had a slightly elevated opinion of myself, since people always made sure to drive home the point that I was proud.

Low self-esteem? It got me thinking about the relationship we have with ourselves. How well do we relate with ourselves? What is our opinion of ourselves? Are we satisfied with who we are as an individual or are we sorely disappointed?

I don’t know much about psychology, but I perceive that the opinion we have of ourselves stems from the opinion our parents hold of us at a young age. But later, when we grow in independence, we begin to think for ourselves, and we form a mental picture that we may or may not like. That’s when we have a better perception of ourselves.

So how does low self-esteem affect us as grown-ups? For one thing, it is linked significantly with depression, thoughts of self-hate, and self-harm. That happens to be dangerous in itself! People who do suffer from low self-esteem are harsher on themselves, highly critical, and think negatively. A doctor once warned me about negative thoughts and told me not to perceive the world negatively. Having grown up on a very delicious diet of Thomas Hardy’s realism, I tend to see life as all black and no sunshine. I can’t really remember having jovial, happy thoughts. I was always sunk in a quicksand of negativity, which, trust me, had a nasty way of coming true.

So let me get back to the relationship we have with ourselves. Is it a loving, compassionate and healthy one? Can we stand to be by ourselves? Do we enjoy our own company? When we talk about ourselves is it with positivity and love? Are we able to hold ourselves accountable?

Just as the way we love others and relate to them, do we relate well with ourselves? I can’t speak for you, only myself.

Nobody on this planet, knows me as well as I know myself. Nobody knows my motivations, my feelings, my shortcomings, better than me, then how is it that I am not able to have a positive relationship with myself?

I find this very odd.

So, to combat this, I decided to develop and build a relationship with myself. One of the things I am not to do is have a negative perception of life, of people, of work, or of living. It’s time to sweep out the negativity, make myself strong, and slowly repair the damage.

I invite you to think for yourself today. Do you love yourself? Do you hold yourself in high esteem? Do you believe you have worth, and value? Do you believe you have meaning, purpose, value and deserve to be treated fairly?

If you don’t believe this, it’s time to introspect and weed out all that prevents you from relating positively to yourself.

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